16/03/2010 07:47:39
To compete or not compete....
Here is a guest post from my very great friend Karen Molan from Skills Quest, Ireland's leading NLP Trainer who specialises in training teachers in the pursuit of excellence using NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming)
Five children stand side by side on a line. Their hearts are racing and their thoughts are varied. Each is waiting to hear the magic words “on your marks, get set, GO!” What happens in the next few minutes is a mixture of adrenaline, sweat, practice and a voice in their heads.
Every parent knows the excitement and the pressure associated with sport days. Whether it is a school, club or neighbourhood event, children can work themselves into an unproductive state. Sports days should be fun where every child competes and, win or lose, enjoys the day.
Every parent who has ever attended one of these events has witnessed that child at the finish line sobbing because they didn’t win the race. You have also seen the distraught parents attempting to comfort and/or placate their child.
So what can you do to make sure your child enjoys competing regardless of whether they win or not?
I have a very simple rule that I give to children who are entering competitions.
There is no point in comparing yourself to any other person. The only person worth comparing yourself to is you.
Ask yourself this “Am I better than I was the last time I competed in this event?”
While there is nothing wrong with aiming to win, it is important to be clear with your children that winning is not always going to be the outcome. Let us be honest, if you don’t train or practice the likely hood is that you won’t win against the child that does. However, if you do train or practice there is no guarantee that the child standing beside you on the line will not be faster, better or stronger than you. So it makes the best sense to compare yourself only to yourself.
Remember dealing with the disappointment of not winning especially when a child has trained is as equally important as preparing to win.
I would advise any parent to take some time out with their children in the days before their child enters a competition and follow these simple steps.
1. Be honest with your child and have your child be honest with themselves about their fitness and skill level.
2. Encourage your child to compete; bearing in mind they are competing against themselves.
3. Have your child visualise themselves crossing the finishing line and being happy. Make sure they are looking at themselves in the image and that the image is a happy positive one.
4. Remind your child that the ultimate aim of the competition is to enjoy themselves.
Competition is a healthy aspect of life and all children will have to face it at some stage in their lives. Learning early on in their lives how to handle competition is what will make the difference later.
Teach your children to compete and enjoy it!
What are your thoughts? Feel free to post your ideas here and join the conversation
Like to join me having fun fine tuning and exploring your parenting on the next Parenting Made Easy Workshop "The Secrets to Well-Behaved Kids" THIS SATURDAY 20th March 2010.
To register for the last 2 remaining places click here NOW !